Does anyone know what Adele’s ex-boyfriend actually DID? She still seems REALLY pissed off @caitlinmoran
‘Did you remember to buy my Kit-Kat?’ ‘No.’ ‘Right. I’m getting an album out of that.’ @caitlinmoran
*Adele comes into the bathroom – sees the toilet-seat up. RUNS to piano* @caitlinmoran
‘You just sort-of pushed the fridge door to, without making sure it was properly shut’ @caitlinmoran retweets @Duncan_Gates
I reckon he got off with Lorraine, hence the song ‘I set fire to Lorraine’ @caitlinmoran retweets @MrWirth
I would like it if it’s just some bloke she saw on the train once, who has totally no idea. @caitlinmoran retweets @jennycolgan
I mean, I’m hearing a LOT of emotion, but no solid anecdotery about his specific failings? @caitlinmoran
It’s going to be hard for him to take any lessons forward, is all I’m saying. @caitlinmoran
‘Did you tape Strictly?’ ‘Soz babe – forgot.’ *Adele drops to her knees, clutching at the sky* @caitlinmoran
(I should point out I LOVE ADELE. I love a chick with a grudge. I’m still avenging the boy who called me a ‘Fat Womble’ in 1982) @caitlinmoran
‘You’ve just ironed over the shirt buttons, not around them, haven’t you?’ *pen out* @caitlinmoran retweets @chris_a_tye
I’ve lost count of how many songs I got out of a boy who briefly ignored me in 1980. @caitlinmoran retweets @tracey_thorn
To be fair, now I think about it, 80% of my output is similarly inspired.@caitlinmoran
#whatdidadelesboyfrienddo